Saturday, March 22, 2008

Held Over For Easter...

Well, Matt and I are still home. That may come as a surprise to some who were told we’d be on the road hunting for Easter bunnies on Saturday morning. I am obviously disappointed in this development.

Freight was/is slow due to this holiday weekend, so nothing that needs to go out today. But there is a load waiting for us to pick up at our terminal going to Georgia, where things are a bit warmer. We’ll get that load tomorrow afternoon after Jesus rises. Honestly I don’t know why he has to be killed year after year only to be resurrected again each time. Seems to me it conflicts with the Easter bunny hunt. At any rate, there are ducks near our building and they might make tasty substitutes. Plus, I just love feathers!

I don’t think Matt minds staying another day and a half at home. He found out he cracked his lower, left rib when he fell last week. Made it kinda hard to cough, too, with his bronchitis and all. Now he’s on the mends and coughing up all kinds of nasty crud. Good job, Matt.

MATT: Thanks, Buster. Incidentally Jesus only died once and was resurrected once. Each year we celebrate.

BUSTER: You celebrate his death? Does he know that?

MATT: The death AND resurrection. The latter is the most important, but you can’t have that without the former.

BUSTER: Yeah,…but still…

MATT: Trust me,…he doesn’t mind.

BUSTER: Okay, okay....... Hey, Matt!

MATT: What?

BUSTER: Would yah mind openin' the blinds??? Gotta look for ducks!

MATT: Sure thing.

Monday, March 17, 2008

Let Me In

BUSTER: I don't get it.

MATT: Ask Leslie.


Matt's Birthday Today (*Yawn*)

BUSTER: Okay, so now what?

MATT: Well, with that Fonda stuff out of the way, we have a few things to catch up on.

BUSTER: *Sigh*

MATT: First of all, today is St. Patrick's Day. Secondly it is my birthday and---

BUSTER: (Interrupting Matt) --Oh boy! St. Patrick's Day?!? That's cool. Can we go outside and watch the parade? Do you color my cat food green? Or put green dye in my water dish? Will you buy me a green colored mouse to chase and grab with my claws and clamp down with my toothy jaws, ripping its----

MATT: (Interrupting Buster) No mice!...not real ones, anyway. Did you happen to hear me mention it's my birthday today?

BUSTER: (rolling eyes) Hmmmpphh. It's aaaallllll about you, isn't it? Today is yooooouurrrr special day, right?

MATT: Well,...yes, but not only about me. I mean it's just that--

BUSTER: (Interrupting Matt again) ---Oh! You're going to share your special day with meeeee?

MATT: You know I'm really not feeling that well today, so take it easy.

BUSTER: Wassamatter?

MATT: Well, I'm coming down with something...I don't know exactly what, but my voice is going out. Plus I fell the other morning...

BUSTER: Ahh yes, the fall. I heard that when I was hiding behind the couch.

MATT: It was 4am and I was woken up by you I wanted to stick your noisy butt back in the kennel, when I stood on the couch with one foot and leaned the other on what I thought was the floor...

BUSTER: But it wasn't the floor, was it?

MATT: No, it was one of several books without a shelf that was particularly slippery, causing me to fall sideways, slamming my head on your crow's nest on the way down to my sickening thud.

BUSTER: Oh no. Is THAT what happened? I knew it didn't sound good.

MATT: It didn't feel good either. So now I have a bruise on the left side of my head and a sharp pain on my left side just below the rib cage. I'm wondering if I bruised a rib, a muscle, or an organ. Any idea what organ is on that side?

BUSTER: Well, on a bird or mouse it's usually the intestines, but could be upper or lower at that point. Usually pretty tasty either way, though. Want me to open you up and check? (holding right paw upright with gleaming claws at ready).

MATT: No. If pain persists I'll have it x-rayed.

BUSTER: Bummer.


It has been brought to my attention that several hundred, dirty-minded Europeans have visited this blog looking for naked pictures of Jane Fonda. Well, we only have one. But nothing is really exposed that your nasty Euro-imaginations could drool over, so please take your trashy fantasies elsewhere.

The purpose of posting those pictures was to show what a floozy idiot Jane Fonda can be at times, when she isn't committing acts of treason against her own country, or giving slips of paper handed to her by American POW's containing military serial numbers to enemy prison-keepers, resulting in endless beatings for said POW's who were simply trying to get Hanoi Jane to get those numbers back to family members so they know their military loved ones are still alive. It was to show she still has no self-control or common sense of any kind.

Even as a cat who licks his own behind, I know better than most of these Europeans who spend every waking moment getting their rocks off, drooling on their keypads over naked pictures of a California fruitcake. So please go somewhere else for your cheap thrills. Or better yet, go somewhere you haven't been in years...if at all. Go to church! Get right with God. You'll have to meet him sooner or later. Might as well be with your soul in order.

BUSTER: How was that?

MATT: Hmmm.....not bad. It is a little harsh in spots, but I like the ending.