Friday, August 15, 2008

Shameless Plug For A Friend's Book


Okay okay. Matt has this friend from college, some girl he used to know. Her name is Julie and she wrote this novel or something. He says it's well researched and a good read. And if you don't believe him you can go to Amazon and see the ratings. Matt already read it and liked it...even though it's a book for girls!

MATT: Why do I leave this stuff up to you? It is not a chick-book, but a Christian romance novel that would appeal to any Anglophile of either sex, and written in the same vein as your average Jane Austen book. It's well-researched and quite interesting. The story is wonderfully woven and it kept my interest throughout. You know how I often read almost half a book and set it down...and forget about it?

BUSTER: Uh...no. I hadn't noticed....because I can't read.

MATT: And that's a shame. But the book is quite enjoyable.

And So It Goes....

We're back on the road again and Matt is hitting every possible pothole he can find. Yes, I have already thrown up. It was at the end of the first day. Matt fed me too soon, so I barfed. Go figure.

MATT: Well, you were begging so much I figured your appetite was strong enough to hold down some food.

BUSTER: (shaking head) Never never never NEVER listen to me when I do that. You know I can't think straight when it's dinner time. Never feed me the first day back on the road. I will puke every time.

MATT: Yeah, I was hopeful. Sorry.

BUSTER: And what's with force feeding me water?

MATT: The prednisolone dehydrates you...and you don't seem to notice that it impacts your...you know.

BUSTER: My entrails? My juicy intestines?

MATT: I think I'M gonna barf now.

BUSTER: Coooool.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Vomitus Maximus

Well, I couldn't quite make 30 days without puking, but I did go from July 6th to August 4th and then let loose with a huge barf all over Matt's suitcase. He seemed to take it well, wiping it up without cursing this time but bemoaning my missing the 30 day mark.

Last month while on break Matt and I stopped at the Giant to pick up Matt's food items, some of which were thrown carelessly in the trunk of his little white 4-wheeler. When we got back to the apartment it appeared to me that a couple of things were missing as he carelessly threw items in the large cooler thingy. For three days, due largely to the outside heat, Matt stayed with me at home. On the fourth day Matt says he went to the car and opened the door and almost fell over from the stench. When opening the trunk he found the watermelon he forgot to take upstairs. So he threw it out and sprayed the inside of the trunk and 4-wheeler interior with Lysol. It seemed to work.

A couple of days ago when we returned from our tour of the exotic Midwest and Mid-Atlantic states and even Texas and Minnesota in the large red truck thing, Matt had the same experience again with stench in the 4-wheeler. But this time he loaded me and lots of stuff from the truck into the 4-wheeler, went to the same grocery store and got food stuff, then came home. Both of us smelled like the interior of the 4-wheeler by then. Uuugggghhhhh!

The next morning, rather than spray, he decided to empty out the stinky 4-wheeler completely (it had lots of junk in it) so he could wipe it all down. In doing this he found in the trunk an old package of once-fresh-and-delicious, Johnsonville brats (5 to a package, I am told --I can't count that high) buried under other stuff, that had gone VERY BAD over the past month. They were wrapped well, but they turned color and smelled powerfully rancid with old meat juice dripping. Considering the summer heat over the past month, it surprises me that there wasn't a pack of hungry, rabid dogs awaiting our arrival for the opening of the trunk, or perhaps buzzards circling overhead looking for their chance to grab some dead flesh.

With Clorox wipes and LOTS of Lysol spray, Matt hopes he has finally fixed the stinky car situation and that we can travel again without taking on an odor such as this. My money says he'll have to set the 4-wheeler on fire to really fix things. Matt refuses.