BUSTER: Okay, so now what?
MATT: Well, with that Fonda stuff out of the way, we have a few things to catch up on.
MATT: First of all, today is St. Patrick's Day. Secondly it is my birthday and---
BUSTER: (Interrupting Matt) --Oh boy! St. Patrick's Day?!? That's cool. Can we go outside and watch the parade? Do you color my cat food green? Or put green dye in my water dish? Will you buy me a green colored mouse to chase and grab with my claws and clamp down with my toothy jaws, ripping its----
MATT: (Interrupting Buster) No mice!...not real ones, anyway. Did you happen to hear me mention it's my birthday today?
BUSTER: (rolling eyes) Hmmmpphh. It's aaaallllll about you, isn't it? Today is yooooouurrrr special day, right?
MATT: Well,...yes, but not only about me. I mean it's just that--
BUSTER: (Interrupting Matt again) ---Oh! You're going to share your special day with meeeee?
MATT: You know I'm really not feeling that well today, so take it easy.
MATT: Well, I'm coming down with something...I don't know exactly what, but my voice is going out. Plus I fell the other morning...
BUSTER: Ahh yes, the fall. I heard that when I was hiding behind the couch.
MATT: It was 4am and I was woken up by you again...so I wanted to stick your noisy butt back in the kennel, when I stood on the couch with one foot and leaned the other on what I thought was the floor...
BUSTER: But it wasn't the floor, was it?
MATT: No, it was one of several books without a shelf that was particularly slippery, causing me to fall sideways, slamming my head on your crow's nest on the way down to my sickening thud.
BUSTER: Oh no. Is THAT what happened? I knew it didn't sound good.
MATT: It didn't feel good either. So now I have a bruise on the left side of my head and a sharp pain on my left side just below the rib cage. I'm wondering if I bruised a rib, a muscle, or an organ. Any idea what organ is on that side?
BUSTER: Well, on a bird or mouse it's usually the intestines, but could be upper or lower at that point. Usually pretty tasty either way, though. Want me to open you up and check? (holding right paw upright with gleaming claws at ready).
MATT: No. If pain persists I'll have it x-rayed.