Although I have known for several weeks, I wanted some time to go by just in case my employer changed their minds. But it seems to be that at moderate cost (to be explained later), there is no immediate need for me to find a new home. In fact I might be around next Christmas after all, provided I don't sneak out of the truck again, or get mauled by large dogs, or choke on my own vomit, or call Matt names again, or find a way to jump out of our 3rd story window at home, or jump out of the truck while it's in motion (say...62 mph or so), or anything like that. Now,...if only I could figure out how to work Matt's stereo....
Here are the rules of Matt's employer's new pet policy (subject to change at their friggin' whimsy):
- Truck must be kept clean at all times. No exceptions. This was going to be a problem so long as I used clay kitty litter, but since switching to Yesterday's News there is virtually no tracking of anything or dust getting clogged in air filters.
- Matt must pay for every air filter change. That means parts AND labor. Air filter refers to in-cab air filters, not the engine filters.
- Pets are not allowed in any company buildings, even when trucks are worked on. This means that even in sub-zero weather, I have to go outside with Matt and wait for hours and hours for the work to be done, or else get a motel that allows pets, or take my chances at a pet motel where I usually go berserk in a cage and try to savage all humans who come near me.
- If in the event that blah blah effects blah blah, then blah blah blah etc..... Okay you really don't need to read the rest of the crapola, but basically Matt can be assigned a brand new truck even though he has me with him now. He just has to pay for a lot of crap he didn't have to pay for before. That's all.