Sunday, May 20, 2007

Parking Lot Etiquette

Tonight we are in Lake Park, GA at the Travel Centers of America arguing about what to do about an incident that happened only moments ago, not more than 20 feet from our truck.

MATT: (exasperated) Well, just what do you want me to do about it? Go pick it up with my bare hands?

BUSTER: (flabbergasted) The hands you pet me with? No way do I want that...that...that filth on my head!

MATT: (pointing) It's up to that s.o.b. who stood there looking away while his dog did that to pick it up.

BUSTER: (interrupting)...with his bare hands! And then pet his mutt on the head! (nodding) Yeah!...that's right! What a pig. He just let him do it right in the middle of the parking lot. How do I know you won't be tracking that in here?

MATT: I'll be careful.

BUSTER: (interrupting again) ...but you'll forget tomorrow-- tomorrow morning when it's early...and you'll bring it back with you. Well, you aint comin' back in here if you bring that doggie doo with you, pal. Versteh?

MATT: When the hell did I teach you German?

BUSTER: (doing Schultz) I know nuth-ing!...nnnnnuth-ing!

MATT: Oh yes, the Hogan's Heroes DVDs

BUSTER: Go talk to the guy!

MATT: And say what? I know what his answer will be. He'll say his dog goes where it wants to and he can't control it, and he didn't plan it, blah blah blah with a hillbilly accent. Besides, he looks kinda scary.

BUSTER: I don't believe it! You're afraid.

MATT: Tomorrow night we'll watch Deliverance and you'll see why. No, seriously. I'm not afraid of the guy. It's just that I know how it will end---probably a shouting match that gets so silly it loses its meaning. Never argue with an idiot. You'll sound like one yourself.

BUSTER: That's a cop out. Just go out there and scratch him. (claws the air to make his point)

MATT: Why don't YOU do that and I'll bail you out of Animal Control.

BUSTER: (shivers) oooooh.....No way! Sadists--all of them!

MATT: (laughs) All right then. We'll just sit here and make fun of the guy on our C.B. radio and get someone else to beat him up.

BUSTER: Good idea! Maybe get a rottweiler after him! They're nasty.

No comments: