Fred Thompson in Iowa

BUSTER: Is that Fred Thompson?

MATT: (nodding) Yup...in Iowa today making a speech at the State Fair.

BUSTER: He said he supports the 2nd Amendment.

MATT: (nodding again) Yeah.

BUSTER: He said he's Pro-life on abortion.

MATT: (nodding still yet again) Yes, he is.

BUSTER: He supports fixing Social Security and he likes the 10th Amendment.

MATT: (nodding and smiling) That's right.

BUSTER: I didn't hear anything about rights for cats.

MATT: Hmmm...me neither. Maybe he'll talk about that next time.

BUSTER: (shaking head) He never talks about that.

MATT: Just what kind of rights were you interested in hearing about?

BUSTER: The right to make you give me treats...and...and to let me go outside when I want...

MATT: (rears back in heavy laughter) Are you kidding?

BUSTER: (long pause...looking very serious) No...I'm not.

MATT: Look, Buster. There are many other issues more important these days than cat's rights. Not that I have anything against them, but our very existence as a nation may be in jeopardy in the war on terror. You need to wake up to reality and put things in their proper perspective. We need a President who will do that and LEAD the country in the proper direction.

BUSTER: And that's Fred?

MATT: That's Fred. Tell you what,...I'll let you submit a question to the Republican You-Tube debate if you'd like.

BUSTER: Oh swell!