Sunday, May 2, 2010

Standing Cats Go Against Everything We Hold Dear

Okay, it looks like we're posting more on this blog now than Matt's other one. But that's okay. It has been a very long dry spell and we are due for a bunch of posts.

With that said, I must point out the fact that foreign cats are evolving ahead of us American cats in that they are learning to stand on their back legs for extended periods of time. Personally I feel that Standing Cats are anathema or some kind of abomination. We do not beg on our haunches like drooling canines! We are cool beasts who sashay around the room brushing into anything that pleases us. This is our way. We are not trained monkeys. We do what we want.

Okay, I will stand for a short period to get treats, but I scratch and claw to get them after about 5 seconds. It's just not natural to stand and wave with a fore-paw at birds outside. They'll think I've gone soft in the head and swoop down on me or something. And then...I'll show them a thing or two...the fluttering little bastards. I'll scratch and claw them and bite their little heads off and leave their bodies on doorsteps and the end of beds near the post with blood and other effluence dripping on the floor below.... Oh yes... if Matt would only let me go hunting once in a while....

No comments: