Matt Abandoned Me Friday

BUSTER: So how was it?

MATT: Not bad. It was hot...very hot...around 90 degrees and very humid..., unless you stood in the shade between two buildings and caught a good breeze. Then it was nice.

BUSTER: Where was this at?

MATT: Just outside of Fox Studios in Manhattan. Actually it's called The News Corp. Building.

BUSTER: Oh...(yawns)...Sure glad you enjoyed it...(yawns again).

MATT: Hey! I saw Shepard Smith.

BUSTER: Who is that? Oh, that news guy on Fox,...that's right...(yawns). I saw him, too. You left the TV on.

MATT: Yeah, but I could see him do the news through the window on 48th St. and 6th. I even waved to him during a commercial break...and HE waved back.

BUSTER: What else could he do? He knew he was pinned down.

MATT: Hmmm. That's true. Plus some guy with kids was standing next to me. So he really had to wave back.

BUSTER: Ok then. (turning to walk away)

MATT: THEN I went to St. Patrick's Cathedral on 5th Ave.

BUSTER: (long exhale...turns to face Matt again) Oh?...And what happened there?

MATT: Well, I'll tell you--

BUSTER: (interrupting) WAIT!...(turns around several times before laying down and facing Matt with head propped on bent elbow). Ok,...(smiling)...now.

MATT: I was sitting in the cathedral admiring the architecture and taking pictures when suddenly,...a service started.

BUSTER: Just like that? (suddenly interested)

MATT: Yeah. Pretty much. Everybody was walking around taking pictures, and then an usher undid the "museum ropes" and a priest, a nun, and some other lady came walking out to the podium to start Mass.

BUSTER: Wow. On a Friday, too.

MATT: Yeah! So I sat down with the others in the pews and participated. The sound system there isn't very good, so I only heard every other word. But it was a good service and I was inspired.

BUSTER: Uh-oh. Inspired how?

MATT: Well, they started giving out communion so I got to the end of the line---

BUSTER: (interrupting) Wait. Holy Communion?

MATT: Yeah.

BUSTER: (shaking head) Go on...

MATT: What.

BUSTER: I thought you never had Holy Communion in a Catholic church.

MATT: I haven't--only Episcopal, Baptist and Methodist. But I thought it would be cool to have it at St. Patrick's in New York. You know, Babe Ruth had his funeral there.

BUSTER: Really? So what happened next?

MATT: I followed the end of the line until it got to the nun, a very venerable and diminutive Italian woman with swollen arthritic hands, who raised the bread disc very high for me. I surprised her when I spoke to her saying I was baptized in a Catholic church but never had my first communion.

BUSTER: What happened then?

MATT: She looked at me rather puzzled, turned her left ear toward me and said "what?!?" I leaned in closer and started to repeat it when she cut me off saying, "never had first communion?" I continued and she interrupted me again and shook her head and said "no." Then she reached up to my forehead, not properly judging the distance I think, and bopped me with her arthritic hand, then smiled broadly while patting my forehead, saying "God bless you!" I thanked her and walked back to my seat.

BUSTER: Hmm. At least you were honest about it. I wonder how many others there were that weren't.

MATT: (shaking head) Doesn't matter.

BUSTER: Is that the picture of St. Patrick's?

MATT: Yeah