Oh Boy, I'm On Vacation....*Yaaawwn*

Been on vacation for over a week now at the apartment...*YAAAAAAAAWWN*...that I've become fully and completely bored. Two days ago I started counting things. I counted the blades on the window blinds, how many steps it takes from my litter box to the crow's nest, from the crow's nest to the fridge, the fridge to the litter box to the window perch, to Matt's bed, etc...

I miss seeing the scenery fly by at high speeds. It made me sick at first, and I had to bury my head under Matt's bunk pillow the first day on the road. But now I guess I've gotten so used to it...so used to it, in fact, that I long for it. Is that strange? All day long I sit around the apartment doing nothing. Even my toys, once a source of frenzied excitement to me, have become symbols of imprisoned inertia. I feel like John McCain at the Hanoi Hilton...but without the torture...or bad food...or lack of a controlled indoor climate...or other horrid living conditions, etc... Have I taken on some mental illness that requires me to be "confused?" Do I need to go to Confuse-A-Cat Ltd.???

I've Been Everywhere...

BUSTER: Hey, that was pretty good.

MATT: Johnny Cash? Yep. Pretty good.

BUSTER: I feel just like him. Since I've been in the truck with you it seems like I've been just about everywhere.

MATT: Everywhere but the great North West. I'm pretty sure you haven't been to Washington or Oregon yet.

BUSTER: You seem a little down... You okay?

MATT: Not really. I found out from my employer that the final decision has been made, and you will have to vacate the truck by the end of next March.

BUSTER: Hmmm. I see. Well, that gives us til next March at least. Are you leaving too?

MATT: I kind of doubt it. I'm going to have to find you a new home.

BUSTER: A new home? You mean back to the shelter, right?

MATT: Well, I'm kinda obligated by the contract I signed when I adopted you that I would return you to them if we have to part company. That's good in a way, because they can take their time screening people who want to adopt you. Plus, they aren't run by the county now. They're a private non-profit organization, and they're still a no-kill shelter.

BUSTER: No-kill? Well, that's a relief!

MATT: I'd say "screw 'em" if they were.

BUSTER: You remember it took over 11 months for someone to adopt me last time around. That was you.

MATT: Yes, but you have some advantages now. This time you come with a box of toys, my phone number if the prospect has questions, and that $159 crow's nest. You won't be mystery kitty anymore. You'll have a nearly full medical history (last 3 years) and dossier with feeding and medicine recommendations along with a personality profile I will create very soon. I also plan to volunteer there on my time off, once per month or so, to keep an eye on how you're doing until they find someone to adopt you.

BUSTER: All that and a bag of hairball treats, eh?

MATT: I will hold onto you as long as I can and not part with you easily. You have been a true blessing for me since the day I adopted you. And you will surely be missed...

BUSTER: The feeling is mutual. But you know, a lot can happen between now and then. I mean, although not likely, what if another company buys your employer and feels differently about pets?

MATT: I dunno.

BUSTER: Or what if your friend Paul is right about fuel prices being a bubble about to burst, and the prices go down a bit, boosting the economy? You could probably find a job with a company that allows cats and get time under your belt until the real recession hits.

MATT: When did you get so smart?

BUSTER: All that XM Radio you listen to, I listen to, too.

MATT: But what if March comes around and I have to give you up?

BUSTER: Then you have to give me up... Look, I know you won't put me in a situation where my life is in danger. The shelter sucked before, but it wasn't THAT bad. And by then we will have had 3 and a half good years together. It's been quite a trip, to tell you the truth. I don't even think the other cats will believe me when I tell them I've been everywhere... But in all honesty,...if you weren't with me I don't think I'd want to live in a truck the rest of my life. I was a stray once so I'll probably never be allowed to roam outside again,...but to have that crow's nest everyday to jump up in with a view outside.... I might not mind if my new owner is an old lady who smells funny and wears flowery dresses. You know?

MATT: I know.

BUSTER: I'll be okay, in other words... How 'bout you?

MATT: I feel a little better about this now. Thanks.

Broke Down On I-76

Here we sit waiting....and waiting....for someone to come by and fix our rig. We busted a turbo clamp and are waiting for road service. We are at mile marker 102 on I-76 in PA

Wow! They're here already....and fixed! Cool! We are on our way...

VERY BAD NEWS

We are home now for a 4 day break from the road, but all is not well…

For a while now Matt and I have goofed off a bit on line in front of all you readers for our own enjoyment as well as yours (hopefully). But now a shadow has been cast by Matt’s employer, whose name shall not be uttered out loud.

Seems that because fuel prices have skyrocketed, most trucking companies have been searching for creative ways to cut down on costs. Some have been purchasing new trucks with APU units which heat/cool the interior of the cab without running the engine. Matt and I think this is a great idea. Or we did until we found out that having a pet in the truck with dander and sheddings causes the expensive filters to clog, causing other problems….

We don’t have an APU unit in ours, which means Matt idles the truck engine while he’s sleeping in the vehicle so we don’t freeze in the winter or die of heat stroke in the summer.

So, to make a long story short…. Matt’s employer has instituted a new pet policy which translates into a NO PET POLICY. By March 31^st, 2009 I will be forced to vacate the truck (owned by the company) and leave Matt to drive down the road alone once again.

I have asked Matt if he would consider quitting his fairly high paying job that he’s had for 5+ years and work for another company which would allow him to drive locally (and be home every night). Or perhaps drive for another long-haul outfit that still allows pets.

He informed me that another large company similar to ours is already laying off drivers, and that local driving companies don’t pay as well and are also affected by the “slowdown.” Plus, many other companies who have allowed pets are now or soon to be instituting the same NO PET POLICY. Matt said what he would need is a career change. But that would still mean starting at the lowest rung of the ladder with crappy pay.

What Matt has done is inform his employer that he is willing to pay an annual, nonrefundable fee or perhaps take a cut in pay just to keep me on board. He is willing to do this because if I leave the truck Matt must find me a new home, meaning he and I will be separated forever, and he isn’t too keen on doing that. So far his employer will not budge. They are determined to run me out of the truck.

Recession bites

Freight has been slow, and we are sitting often or getting really dumb loads. By dumb I mean really stupidly, short insignificantly dumb dumb stupid friggin' rotten---

MATT: (interrupting) I don't think you need to belabor the point there, kitty. You already made it by saying things have slowed down.

BUSTER: Yeah, but they're so du--

MATT: (interrupting again) --Yes, I know how frustrating recessions can be. No one wants to buy anything until they see just how bad things will get. And that, in itself, causes things to get worse. The miles are gonna suck for a while. Fuel is horrendously expensive. And soon it will mean higher prices everywhere.

BUSTER: So you blog more during a recession? I couldn't help but notice on St. Blogustine you've made quite a few posts lately. But here you haven't really done much. Is it all those Europeans looking for porn that bother you?

MATT: Hmmm. No, not really. If they wish to bask in filth, that's their problem.

BUSTER: I also noticed you haven't played with me much lately. Are you mad at me?

MATT: No, just the opposite. You haven't puked in quite a while. That's a positive. I can't stand cleaning up your barf from my log book or pillow...or wherever you spew your cereal. I guess I'm not in a playful mood, but a worrying one. I see storms on the horizon.

BUSTER: Seems to me that playing with me might take your mind off your troubles... But first you gotta buy me new toys. These are all chewed on. Make sure they're the ones I like, with lots of catnip. Yes, yes, catnip is always good. Now, I want several of them all lined up...if they're mice make sure their tails are at attention. Then I want---

MATT: (interrupting yet again) ---You want you want you want..... *sigh* .... Okay, but I may have a couple in the bin we haven't opened yet. (checking bin) Here's a few.

BUSTER: Toss 'er here!

Prelude To A Wreck...(Possibly Fatal)

A couple of days ago,...the 3rd, I think, Matt and I were heading south on a US highway (I forget the number) when we saw over on the other side (the north bound lanes) a green Pontiac something-or-other at a dead stop in the passing lane (left lane). Matt says he saw the driver sitting there looking down toward his lap area, possibly reading something,...or maybe having a seizure possibly?

We were going kinda fast heading south, so Matt reached for his CB microphone to warn the north bounders of the obstacle, when we saw two trucks running abreast (side by side) heading north toward the parked car. The truck in the right lane was a car hauler, what we usually call a "portable parking lot" and the other was a white straight truck (the kind that doesn't bend in the middle).

Matt's first instinct was to look to the right for a place to park on the shoulder, as he knew what would probably happen, and his help would be needed. But there was no place wide enough to pull over.

So as he looked into his rear view mirror (we had by then zoomed past the car) while warning the north bounders of the parked car ahead, he saw the dust fly from around the white truck as it slammed on its brakes to avoid hitting the car (not being able to swerve due to the other truck running beside it in the right lane). Matt had to ask other north bounders who made it to the scene if the truck hit the car...and it did. But we were too far away to help.

So now Matt is dealing with the frustration of seeing the prelude to a possibly fatal accident and being powerless to act. Such is the life of a trucker. They see this kind of stuff every now and again. When I lay on the dashboard I try to look the other way when these events take place. But even then there are times when I have to look. In the past 12 months we've seen more than our share. Most we saw after the fact, with bodies covered up and wreckage all mangled. But this one we saw before it happened,...and could do nothing but warn others of the mess after the fact.

Yesterday's "Big" Trucker Strike

Yesterday was April Fool's Day, and therefore the day truckers decided to have themselves (ourselves) a slowdown. Matt and I drove very slowly all day with the turn signal on, just like old people do. And we only drove about 220 miles. That sounds like a lot, but for a trucker it really isn't.

We saw many...and I mean MANY trucks on the road yesterday, so it may not have gone as well as you might have heard. The goal has always been to show the rest of the country how important we are to the economy by shutting down and making people beg for products they take for granted. After all, everything you have in your house, your car,...everything was brought to the store from the factories by trucks.

Matt once told me how the morons out in California once tried to ban diesel trucks from the state. The bill actually made it to the floor of the State House in Sacramento, but was voted down. Guess someone realized at the last minute that all the gasoline the cars use is transported by tankers using diesel. Too bad. It would've been nice to see those idiots stew in their own cat poop for not thinking things through.

Anyway, we hope all the great press we got for this so-called strike will amount to changes at the pump. We're using about 100 gallons of diesel per day on average, and paying over $4 per gallon. Do the math. Prices in general will have to sharply rise in order for us to make a living hauling your stuff.

Held Over For Easter...

Well, Matt and I are still home. That may come as a surprise to some who were told we’d be on the road hunting for Easter bunnies on Saturday morning. I am obviously disappointed in this development.

Freight was/is slow due to this holiday weekend, so nothing that needs to go out today. But there is a load waiting for us to pick up at our terminal going to Georgia, where things are a bit warmer. We’ll get that load tomorrow afternoon after Jesus rises. Honestly I don’t know why he has to be killed year after year only to be resurrected again each time. Seems to me it conflicts with the Easter bunny hunt. At any rate, there are ducks near our building and they might make tasty substitutes. Plus, I just love feathers!

I don’t think Matt minds staying another day and a half at home. He found out he cracked his lower, left rib when he fell last week. Made it kinda hard to cough, too, with his bronchitis and all. Now he’s on the mends and coughing up all kinds of nasty crud. Good job, Matt.

MATT: Thanks, Buster. Incidentally Jesus only died once and was resurrected once. Each year we celebrate.

BUSTER: You celebrate his death? Does he know that?

MATT: The death AND resurrection. The latter is the most important, but you can’t have that without the former.

BUSTER: Yeah,…but still…

MATT: Trust me,…he doesn’t mind.

BUSTER: Okay, okay....... Hey, Matt!

MATT: What?

BUSTER: Would yah mind openin' the blinds??? Gotta look for ducks!

MATT: Sure thing.

Let Me In

BUSTER: I don't get it.

MATT: Ask Leslie.

BUSTER: Fine.

Matt's Birthday Today (*Yawn*)

BUSTER: Okay, so now what?

MATT: Well, with that Fonda stuff out of the way, we have a few things to catch up on.

BUSTER: *Sigh*

MATT: First of all, today is St. Patrick's Day. Secondly it is my birthday and---

BUSTER: (Interrupting Matt) --Oh boy! St. Patrick's Day?!? That's cool. Can we go outside and watch the parade? Do you color my cat food green? Or put green dye in my water dish? Will you buy me a green colored mouse to chase and grab with my claws and clamp down with my toothy jaws, ripping its----

MATT: (Interrupting Buster) No mice!...not real ones, anyway. Did you happen to hear me mention it's my birthday today?

BUSTER: (rolling eyes) Hmmmpphh. It's aaaallllll about you, isn't it? Today is yooooouurrrr special day, right?

MATT: Well,...yes, but not only about me. I mean it's just that--

BUSTER: (Interrupting Matt again) ---Oh! You're going to share your special day with meeeee?

MATT: You know I'm really not feeling that well today, so take it easy.

BUSTER: Wassamatter?

MATT: Well, I'm coming down with something...I don't know exactly what, but my voice is going out. Plus I fell the other morning...

BUSTER: Ahh yes, the fall. I heard that when I was hiding behind the couch.

MATT: It was 4am and I was woken up by you again...so I wanted to stick your noisy butt back in the kennel, when I stood on the couch with one foot and leaned the other on what I thought was the floor...

BUSTER: But it wasn't the floor, was it?

MATT: No, it was one of several books without a shelf that was particularly slippery, causing me to fall sideways, slamming my head on your crow's nest on the way down to my sickening thud.

BUSTER: Oh no. Is THAT what happened? I knew it didn't sound good.

MATT: It didn't feel good either. So now I have a bruise on the left side of my head and a sharp pain on my left side just below the rib cage. I'm wondering if I bruised a rib, a muscle, or an organ. Any idea what organ is on that side?

BUSTER: Well, on a bird or mouse it's usually the intestines, but could be upper or lower at that point. Usually pretty tasty either way, though. Want me to open you up and check? (holding right paw upright with gleaming claws at ready).

MATT: No. If pain persists I'll have it x-rayed.

BUSTER: Bummer.

THIS IS NOT A PORN SITE!!!

It has been brought to my attention that several hundred, dirty-minded Europeans have visited this blog looking for naked pictures of Jane Fonda. Well, we only have one. But nothing is really exposed that your nasty Euro-imaginations could drool over, so please take your trashy fantasies elsewhere.

The purpose of posting those pictures was to show what a floozy idiot Jane Fonda can be at times, when she isn't committing acts of treason against her own country, or giving slips of paper handed to her by American POW's containing military serial numbers to enemy prison-keepers, resulting in endless beatings for said POW's who were simply trying to get Hanoi Jane to get those numbers back to family members so they know their military loved ones are still alive. It was to show she still has no self-control or common sense of any kind.

Even as a cat who licks his own behind, I know better than most of these Europeans who spend every waking moment getting their rocks off, drooling on their keypads over naked pictures of a California fruitcake. So please go somewhere else for your cheap thrills. Or better yet, go somewhere you haven't been in years...if at all. Go to church! Get right with God. You'll have to meet him sooner or later. Might as well be with your soul in order.

BUSTER: How was that?

MATT: Hmmm.....not bad. It is a little harsh in spots, but I like the ending.

Save the CATS...and dogs

Due to all the CATS and dogs that are being abandoned simply due to foreclosures on properties owned by irresponsible humans, I am now collecting for the ASPCA. See donation widget on the right side column. Thanks for your support.

Euthanizing With Carbon Monoxide?!? Illinois Seeks To Ban

The shelter in Easton, PA, from which I was rescued (thanks, Matt --and sorry for scratching you yesterday) has a “no kill” policy which seems to work for them. But apparently in Illinois it’s still okay to execute unwanted or abandoned animals (both dogs and CATS) for the sake of their owners’ lack of responsibility. And in Illinois, along with a small group of other states, it’s still okay to use Carbon Monoxide poisoning to do the deed.

Don’t get me wrong, though. I know it must be necessary at times when a dog or CAT is in untreatable pain to put them humanely out of their misery. Or even if the animal is so unmanageable that finding a home is an impossibility. But just read the excerpt below from a Chicago Tribune article about what carbon monoxide entails:

[Illinois is among eight states that still allow dogs and cats to be euthanized by pumping carbon monoxide into a special chamber, Matyas said. Four or five dogs are put into the chamber, which is about the size of a dumpster, along with a similar number of cats, he said.

As the gas seeps into the chamber, the dogs sometimes panic and begin fighting, Matyas said. It often takes more than 30 minutes for the animals to die.]

Read the full article and view the video by clicking here.

Hat tip to Culture Wire.

Arguing In Georgia

BUSTER: (serious) Is that supposed to be funny?

MATT: (smiling) Yes. I believe so.

BUSTER: Is that directed at me?

MATT: ...Yes...I believe so. (smiling again)

BUSTER: You know...the color is wrong!

MATT: The color?

BUSTER: YES, THE COLOR! I'M NOT ORANGE!

MATT: (laughing) Oh, that color. Yes,...the color is wrong. But the rest of it hit right on target.

BUSTER: Are YOU the big fat guy?

MATT: (stopped smiling) You know...you do lay around an awful lot....doing nothing...just eating and sleeping and pooping.

BUSTER: Yeah...well, there isn't a whole lot to do in this truck, you know. At home I can run around the living room and into the kitchen and back. I can jump up to the window sill, bounce on your bed, wipe my nose on your pillow, and claw my way up the side of my crows nest to the top tray feeling as though I've accomplished something meaningful.

MATT: You can do that here, too.

BUSTER: (shaking head) Nope! Here I run up to the dashboard and sit next to the windshield...until you blast the defroster to chase me off--

MATT: (interrupting) --You sit next to that freezing cold windshield....I chase you off for your own good. Then I--

BUSTER: (interrupting) --you chase me off so I have to run a very short distance to the bed and sit or lie down. That's what I get to do all day...sit or lie on your bed. You won't let me jump in your lap while the machine is moving--

MATT (interrupting) --the truck!

BUSTER: --while the truck is moving. You get mad if I try to jump up to the top bunk--

MATT: (interrupting) --Do you realize what will happen if I have to slam on the brakes if you're up there? You'll fly forward too fast for your claws to grab onto anything...and you'll crack your little furry head open on my overhead compartment...or worse yet...the windshield! At least with the lower bed you can hide behind the suitcase---

BUSTER: (interrupts) ----The suitcase!...oh the suitcase...my only salvation from complete and utter boredom. Digging my claws into it gives me brief and fleeting jolts of pleasure. The only thing more pleasurable would be to sink them into your face...

MATT: (interrupting) --That's it!!! Into the kennel you go. (grabs Buster and shoves him into plastic kennel, locks door). Sorry kitty, but that was the wrong thing to say just then...

BUSTER: Let me out.

MATT: No!

BUSTER: I have to go to the bathroom.

MATT: Liar.

BUSTER: All that arguing got me excited. I have to go potty.

MATT: You'll scratch me again.

BUSTER: No, I promise. I really have to go.

MATT: Oh, okay. But you better not be lying. (opens door to kennel, Buster climbs out)

BUSTER: (Runs to litter box...does his business...climbs out, saunters up to Matt and scratches his right leg).

MATT: HEY!!! You promised!

BUSTER: I know, but I don't have to go to the bathroom anymore.

MATT: Hmmm. I wonder if John McCain will be like that.... (picks up Buster and returns him to kennel, locks door).

Buster Gets The News On Fred...Finally

BUSTER: Ahhh. Finally home....up in my crow's nest. The only thing better would be if I had a crow with me to chew on. *Sigh*

MATT: I'm afraid I have some bad news.

BUSTER: (commanding) Out with it!

MATT: Yes, master. (laughing) You know, you're making this easier to tell you.

BUSTER: (seriously) What is it?

MATT: Fred Thompson withdrew from the campaign. His numbers were pretty bad in South Carolina, so he dropped out.

BUSTER: (disbelief) HE DIDN'T!

MATT: He did. In fact he did it almost two weeks ago.

BUSTER: Two weeks ago?!?!? Why didn't you tell me sooner?

MATT: You weren't feeling well, and I figured I'd better wait 'til we get back into town and get settled in.

BUSTER: Oh, is THAT what you thought? (deeply offended) You know, I would've wanted to call him with my condolances or send him a message or something...

MATT: Yeah, that was the other reason...I guess.

BUSTER: I'm not talking to you anymore! (turns his back)

MATT: Aw, come on...



Right about here was supposed to be a short video of me in my crow's nest ignoring Matt. Unfortunately both You-Tube and Blogger failed to allow us to post this video. It wasn't too long or obscene. We don't know what the heck their problems were. Sorry.

The Joys Of Traveling For A Living...

MATT: Feeling better, bud?

BUSTER: (looking a little green) Uuugghhh! I guess so….a little bit.

MATT: Sorry about the bumpy road. You’d think Florida would have nicer pavement due to the lack of ice and snow.

BUSTER: (looking at vomit on rug) What do you want me to do with this?

MATT: Throw some sawdust on it and I’ll scoop it up later.

BUSTER: We don’t have any sawdust. All we have are pages from USA Today I scratched up.

MATT: Forget it. I’ll pull into that rest stop and clean it up. (steering rig to off-ramp….gliding into rest area). There we are. (pulls into parking spot and sets break [loud hissing sound])

BUSTER: (squints) I hate that sound. (looks at food dish) I’m hungry. Would yah fill my food dish please?

MATT: Not a good idea.

BUSTER: Why not? I’m starving. (yawns and licks chops)

MATT: (applying paper towels to mess and scooping it into waste basket) Because you just threw up and your stomach can’t take food yet. You’ll bring it back up within minutes.

BUSTER: Well, then I’ll just keep eating until I stop throwing up. (smiles and nods head)

MATT: What a great idea. Boy, Buster I can’t figure out sometimes why you aren’t the one driving and I’m not the one playing with your catnip toys.

BUSTER: Yes. I should be in charge. And then YOU can march into the plastic kennel for meowing so much at night.

MATT: Back to reality.

BUSTER: (lowers head) Okay… Sure is a lot warmer today.

MATT: That’s because we’re getting close to Orlando. But don’t worry. We’re getting another load tonight going right back into the snow.

BUSTER: Brrrrrr. Where to?

MATT: Palmyra, PA

BUSTER: Hey, that’s close to home, right?

MATT: Yup. And we’ll get to spend a night at our new apartment. But then we gotta go again.

BUSTER: *sigh* I guess one night is better than none. And you can move all that stuff out of here to make more room.

MATT: Oh yes, the furniture. That will be moved out promptly. It’s driving me nuts, too.

BUSTER: Glad to see I wasn’t the only one…..(looking at rug) You missed a spot.

MATT: And in a couple of weeks we can take some real time off,

BUSTER: Two weeks?

MATT: No, more like 4 to 5 days.

BUSTER: Wow, that’s a month and a half.

MATT: No, not 45 days. Four… to… five of them. We’ll take our two-week vacation in late Spring. And we’ll stay home at Club Buster.

BUSTER: Lovely.

New Fred Thompson Video

BUSTER: Okay, so whose that talkin'? Is it you?

MATT: Does it sound like me?

BUSTER: No, I guess not. He drawls too much.

MATT: That's right. It's not me. Its some guy named John Hawkins from Right Wing News. He did a good job with this, I think.

BUSTER: Yeah, he di--- whoops! What's that about children and puppies? Children scare me...and I can't stand those idiot drooling canines at any age!

MATT: Hmmm.... Not to worry. It says "...people who hate children and puppies. You aren't people.

BUSTER: (looking suspiciously at Matt) You trying to tell me something?

MATT: (rolls eyes) Nope.

Siricomm Pinheads Run For The Exits

Either I or Matt have mentioned problems in the past with getting online while on the road, not having much in the way of good WIFI from which to choose. The few good choices remain the same...but they'll be a little more lonely. For the worst of them has declared bankruptcy!!!

They are/were the biggest truck stop WIFI outfit in the country, and the most expensive. But they were also the most unreliable and pathetic bunch of hacks in the industry. I am speaking of Siricomm, which, until recently, could be found at nearly every Pilot, Petro, or Loves truck stop in the country. As of 12-29-07 they are history, along with hundreds of employees, most of whom had not been paid in nearly a month.

So what happened? Well, like Boston Market...a good idea at first, they pitched their tents in too many places and let quality go by the wayside. Siricomm could be found in more than three times the truck stops as the nearest competitor, but had all kinds of technical issues, not the least of which was poor reception on mildly cloudy days. The problem was that everything was done via satellite. Some WIFI providers use cell towers, others use underground cables to connect the truck stops with the host provider before beaming the signals to individual customers (most of whom sat in their trucks in truck stop parking lots). Siricomm beamed from their base in Joplin to satellites, and from satellites to truck stops, who beamed to customers. Along the way any storm, or approaching storm, or clouds, or approaching clouds, or pooping seagulls, or lost parakeets flying by would interrupt the signal causing the trucker much anguish.

The other problem was the cost. Siricomm was charging $189.00 for a year's worth of WIFI when other companies were charging $120.00 to $150.00 with far better service and 54 Mbps (vs. Siricomm's mere 11 Mbps). The only question I have at this point is this: How did they last this long???

My thanks to Matt for doing the typing and most of the research on this while I ate my ProPlan Hairball treatment cereal. Yum-yum.

My Christmas Letter To All My Friends And Relatives

Well, this year was a horrible year with all kinds of suffering and strife. Guess Ill start at the beginning. I threw up so much this year I thought I was gonna die. Then Matt yelled at me a lot when I was bad. Then I threw up some more and saw a dog poop in a parking lot and got away with it. We stayed at lots of motels, some good, some not so good. And then-----

MATT: (interrupting) This isn't really your Christmas letter, is it?

BUSTER: Yes,...I wanted to be honest about things and---

MATT: (interrupting again) It doesn't sound very honest when you only mention the bad things. There were some pretty good things that happened this year.

BUSTER: Like?

MATT: Like the fact that the good vet found a medication that stopped you from all that puking. In fact you haven't puked once since December 3rd.

BUSTER: You're keeping score?

MATT: Sure. Its what I do. You could have also mentioned the new apartment we got last week with the huge windows you love...

BUSTER: Yes....and the birds (looking into space)....oh the birds. So mannnny biiiirrrrdddss. And the window sills are so deep. Lots of room for me.

MATT: And what did you get for Christmas early??

BUSTER: That was my Christmas present? Oh. I got a crows nest.

MATT: Yes! And you loved it!

BUSTER: Yes yes yes. Okay, I love it a lot.

MATT: Too bad I didn't get a picture of you in it. Will do so next time.

BUSTER: Its so tall! I'm as tall as you when I lay in the top level.

MATT: Almost.

Wake Up!

MATT: Now that's what it's like in the truck every morning...minus the baseball bat.

BUSTER: I don't have any idea what you're talking about.

Apartment Found

Oddly enough, Matt says he found us an apartment. You may remember his tale of apartment hunting last summer in which he was nearly swindled by several nefarious characters posing as landlords near Harrisburg, PA. Actually they were landlords, and very tricksy ones, too--

MATT: (interrupting) Yes, they were quite tricksy as you say. But I finally found one that appears to be above board, accepts cats, and makes things in general rather livable.

BUSTER: And I don't have to be declawed???

MATT: Nope!

BUSTER: When do we move in?

MATT: Middle of next month.

BUSTER: What city? Do you have pictures of the place? Do I get my own room? Does it have windows? Are there lots of mice and bugs for me to chase? I love flies. Are there lots of flies to catch?

MATT: Goodness! Uhm...I can't say the city. It's our business--no one else's. I don't have pictures, but they do...on line. But we'll look at those together, later. You remember the internet is like a large city...with lots of scary people who eat cats?

BUSTER: Koreans?

MATT: Yeah, them too. You won't get you own room. Neither will I. It's a studio, so it's rather small. But for something so small, the windows are rather large. We'll have three of them, so lots of light. There is a chocolate factory on the other side of town, so we'll have the aroma of chocolate most days. I know that doesn't mean that much to you.

BUSTER: No, it doesn't. Now a catnip factory...that would matter! Tell me more about the windows...

MATT: I didn't measure them, but they seemed to be about 3' wide and over 7 feet high. And there's a thick wire outside running left to right where birds like to perch.

BUSTER: (perking up) Birds? Crunchy birdses?

MATT: *sigh* Yes...have you been watching Lord of the Rings again?

BUSTER: I dunno.

MATT: There are no bugs that I saw, or flies either. And we're on the second floor just across from the elevator.

BUSTER: Dumb.

MATT: What?

BUSTER: Dumb.

MATT: Being across from the elevator?

BUSTER: Yup. Dumb.

MATT: Why?

BUSTER: Noise.

MATT: It won't be that bad. I have a noise maker on the way that creates white noise that will drown out the noise from the elevator while we're sleeping.

BUSTER: (shaking head) I won't even ask.

MATT: Good...don't.

Vets Day

MATT: Know what today is?

BUSTER: Uh....Vet's Day?

MATT: Veterans Day, yes. And do you know the significance of that?

BUSTER: (worried) I have to go to the vet again?

MATT: (laughing) No. It's a day dedicated to-

BUSTER: (interrupting) (somewhat panicky) I HAVEN'T THROWN UP AT ALL. I FEEL FINE. HERE, (grabs Matt's hand, applies to Buster's nose) SEE? MY NOSE IS SLIGHTLY DAMP. THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT??? AND AND HERE, (applies Matt's hand to Buster's forehead) AND I DON'T HAVE A FEVER EITHER!

MATT: Calm down. I know you aren't sick. And your forehead isn't where we take your temperature, either.

BUSTER: *gasps* (backs away)

MATT: Will you relax, already?!? Veterans Day is a day honoring those who have served our country in uniform.

BUSTER: Like the guy in the car with flashing lights who pulled you over that one time?

MATT: No. Not unless he served in the United States Military at some time in his life. It's a day to honor those who made the sacrifice to serve, not only in time of war....but especially then, I guess. It started after the end of World War One....

BUSTER: (rolling eyes) Oh...here we go...

MATT: Fine. I thought you wanted to know.

BUSTER: I just wanted to know that I wouldn't have to be...examined...again, that's all. The rest just doesn't interest me.

MATT: Would the loss of your freedom interest you? Or taking all those great things for granted each day? Would that interest you? What if you had to ask the government for permission each time we stayed in a hotel or crossed from one state line to another?

BUSTER: That would suck.

MATT: Veterans have insured our freedom for 231 years and counting by putting on the uniform and defending this nation from tyranny.

BUSTER: Okay okay. So what are we gonna do today?

MATT: Watch football.

BUSTER: That's it? No celebration? No parade?

MATT: It's kinda chilly outside. And I'm tired from yesterday.

BUSTER: But if it's as important as you say it is,....we gotta do something! We gotta show our support...or whose gonna put on the uniform and sacrifice again when it's needed?

MATT: Good point. Tell you what,...while I'm out today....if/when I see someone in uniform, I'll thank him or her for their service to our country.

BUSTER: You darn well better! And thank him for me, too.

Resolved

BUSTER: I fixed it!!! I fixed it!!! (pointing to damage on hood of truck)

MATT: (laying in sleeper birth) (waking up) Huh?? What?? You fixed...what?

BUSTER: I fixed the hood! I did it! Look! (pointing again with paw) Good as new! See?

MATT: (blankly) Duct tape?..... (to self) Red duct tape?

BUSTER: (proudly) YEAH! All fixed.

MATT: Hmmm. Yeah, you can hardly tell.... And the color...oh the color.

BUSTER: RED!

MATT: Yeah...it's red. Just like the truck. Uh....(puzzled) How did you get out there, for one. And how did you tape it without opposable thumbs?

BUSTER: Steroids. You've been giving me steroids, and now I'm Super Kitty.

MATT: (glaringly) How did you get out?!?

BUSTER: (pointing at Matt) YOU left the wing open. So I squeezed out and fixed your hood for you.

MATT: Prednisolone in a transdermal form does not make you buff, Kitty.

BUSTER: Must be the Pro Plan then. I'm not throwing it up anymore, so I have more energy to spend.

MATT: Will it break your furry little heart if I have additional work done, you know, just to smooth it out a little?

BUSTER: Well frankly, I just don't see that as being...necessary. It looks great now.

MATT: Yes, it could fool anybody...until it rains.

BUSTER: It won't rain!

MATT: Well, actually it will, as it tends to do so in the Autumn.

BUSTER: Well...don't drive in the rain then. (nodding once firmly)

MATT: (resigned) Sure.

Rude Awakening!

BUSTER: So what the heck happened this morning?

MATT: Whaddya mean?

BUSTER: You know...around 2am when you were in bed...and the truck shook....and then shook again....and all that crunching noise.

MATT: Oh, that. Some rookie hit the truck.

BUSTER: Whaddya mean?

MATT: I mean that some sleepy, idiot truck driver with only 2 months experience felt too cocky to get out of his truck and look while he was backing into a spot next to us when he wasn't sure what he saw...or didn't see. And so he crunched the right front section of my truck's hood with the side of this trailer. And that's after he backed into my side mirror.

BUSTER: So he hit us twice, right?

MATT: Yeah. But he said he didn't realize he did it the first time....or the second. I had to get my pants on and run out there.

BUSTER: Yeah, I remember. I heard you shouting at him, "please stop hitting my truck, dammit!" Or something like that.

MATT: I didn't say "dammit"...did I?

BUSTER: I thought you did. So did he try to run off or weasel out of it?

MATT: No, he said he was sorry and cooperated fully. Nice change from some of those others.

BUSTER: Got a picture?

MATT: Let me check...yup, here it is.

BUSTER: Ooooh. That looks like crap.

MATT: Yeah, I was pretty upset. But I didn't call the police this time.

BUSTER: How come?

MATT: When I got my employer on the phone he asked to speak to the other guy and got him to admit fault. If he hadn't done that I'd have gotten a cop to do that.

BUSTER: But you said he apologized.

MATT: Yeah, they tend to do that at the time. But later on after the dust settles they start thinking about the precarious nature of their standing at their own job...and sometimes change their story. He might say it was me who hit him.

BUSTER: Well, I'm a witness. I heard him admit fault, too.

MATT: (laughing) Oh that's rich. Can you picture me taking you into court and setting you on the judges bench for you to testify? "Meow meow meow meeooow meow meeeeooow...etc"

BUSTER: (nose in air) Hmmmf! I think I'd make a very good impression...especially if the judge is female. And my meow is impeccable.

MATT: Yes, you're right about that.

Medication At Last

Okay, finally we made it back through that little town in PA where Matt has his PO Box. That means that finally I have my steroid medicine: Prednisolone in a transdermal form. That means Matt smears it in the inside flap of my ear. Good for me. I hate pills. I choke on them and they make me moody.

Hopefully this new med will keep me from puking so much. I dunno. The shot in the rump I got last month was supposed to last a whole month. It didn't. It only lasted 17 days...and then I started barfing again...and moaning and stuff. I hate being sick.

It's .05 ml, which on the syringe measuring thing is equal to one drop. Weird thing is that is comes out like a cream, not liquid. Anyway I do that twice daily for a week, then once daily for the next week, and then every other day for two weeks. I hope Matt is keeping track of all that because I can't due to my lack of time comprehension beyond a day. So I'll let the 320 lbs trucker be my doctor and let the litter box biscuits fall where they may.

Why I Will Never Live With A Dog

This proves once and for all that cats have been framed all these years by evil drooling dogs who run amok and wreak havoc...and...and...and and pretend to like you. Yeah. Cats don't do any of that. It's DOGS.... DOGS do that.

Two Steps Forward...One Step Backwards

This morning Matt spoke with a Dell rep in Oklahoma City who found the problem. Seems Matt had never upgraded to Explorer 7 and was still using the antiquated 6. While there must have been an update years ago for 6, that update is no longer available--therefore primitive fonts. Since upgrading to Explorer 7 the remaining problem has been corrected.

I also found out that Dell is expanding its tech support team in Oklahoma City in order to possibly reverse the outsourcing trend. If this is so then Matt could possibly be talked into buying another Dell some day. I can dream, can't I?

Good news from the good vet. The steroids that assuage my puking tendencies are available in ear-drop form. They will be mailed to Matt's PO Box early next week. And not a moment too soon. I puked yesterday morning and again moments ago. Feeling a little weak and dizzy. Must tread carefully in the truck while moving. Will try to talk Matt into buying me some baby food in the meantime.